How to be the best by Joseph Palumbo

Just ran across an amazing post on Quora

What are the best ways to become the best at whatever you do? 

  1. Write down your goals twice every day. You cannot get the things you don't remember you wanted in the first place. 
  2. Do something for the goals every single day. Success and excellence only come from what we do behind the scenes every day. 
  3. Work harder than everyone else. To be the best you must work like the best. Period. 
  4. Get over yourself. Get over the fact that you can do this all while staying comfortable and do the things you do not like to do and that scares you. 
  5. Believe you are the best before you are. If you do not believe it, why should anyone else. 
  6. Focus all your energy on improving. You are not the best yet, so you must grow into the best by improving everything you can as much as you can. 
  7. Invest in yourself. Spend the time, energy and money required for you to become the best. 
  8. Do not give up. This will take longer than you think it will and will be harder than anyone told you, but if you give up you will never be able to reach it. 


Why are blogs meant to be forgotten? by Joseph Palumbo

Real Life vs. Virtual

Every blog is conceived with the best intentions, but all too easily they fall by the wayside. It's too easy to live passively as a consumer rather than live actively as a producer. 

But even then, it's such a challenge in this new world of social media to be both present and active in the real world while stopping to update the virtual one. Tonight at dinner, at Schilos, I kept stopping to tweet and take pictures of what was going on around me because that's what I see so many people doing, but it kept me from being engaged with my family in the present. 

Always kind of a tough one, to figure out the balance. 


I'm frustrating my wife by Joseph Palumbo

I've been married to Elizabeth for over 12 years now, though we've been together for over 20 years. She's my writing parter. While I'm good at writing basic joke structure, setup + punch, she's the master at adding short, zippy tags. 

Tonight we went for a walk. I was going over my 15 minute set with her, telling her about some new jokes I wrote and how I streamlined others. As always, She added a few strong tags to the mix. She proposed changing the order of the jokes. She explained that by swapping jokes (putting one in front of the other) it would be a better build up to the now second joke. 

We worked through this and at the end of the day it required too many words to segue between the two in the new order. She explained that despite the words, it was still a stronger order. I told her she was probably right, but my experience over the last month writing and delivering shorter, setup + punch jokes on stage has proved to me that one of the immutable laws of comedy is e as ruthless as possible when eliminating the words between setup and punch, and between punchlines in sequential jokes. 

She pleaded her case again. And once again I explained that the proof was there. Even though the build up was good, I feel more comfortable saying fewer words on stage. 

Why post this one my blog? Because I've been a writer all my life. Up to now I've had the luxury of writing things and then sending them out into the world with little to no repercussion if it wasn't good. Now, when I write something bad or poorly structured, I'm forced to say it in front of a room full of people that will determine in a second or two if it is funny. A much different situation, to say the least. 

Really, the purpose of this post is to tel my wife, Liz, and her sick sense of humor for helping me with my act. 

A house divided... by Joseph Palumbo

This a strange time to be an American. I never seen our country so divided. It breaks my heart, really. And I'm sure our Founding Fathers would be heart broken as well to see us seething at each other from the farthest ends of the ideological spectrum. 

Half of this country supports a megalomaniacal narcissist who uses 3rd grade grammar to cyber bully his opponents when he's not over sexualizing every women around him. 

The other half supports one of the most powerful women in the country. A card carrying member of the 1% who panders to middle America with a "I'm one of you" persona. 

For the sake of our country, I hope Kanye and Taylor Swift patch things up soon. I don't know if America can take much more of this.

Two weeks at a startup by Joseph Palumbo

For those of you that follow me on social media (or know me IRL), you already know that I recently left Cisco (after only 3 months) and joined a local startup called Although I've never worked for a startup before, most of the teams and projects I worked on at Rackspace were completely new and operated very much like a startup with the larger organization acting as investors. 

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5 Things Entrepreneurs Can Learn From Kanye West by Joseph Palumbo

Kanye West has been getting a lot of attention these days, and not always for the right reasons. He's pompous. He's megalomaniacal. He's obnoxious. And that makes him the focal point for a lot of criticism and derision. But that doesn't mean we can't learn from him, especially if you're an entrepreneur. Yes, when you look past all of the flash and hyperbole there are some things that we can learn from Yeezus when it comes to braving the harsh entrepreneurial currents of the modern business world. 

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Minimum Wage and The Struggle of Starting by Joseph Palumbo

The hardest part of any endeavor is fairly predictable. It's the beginning. The phase when you're filled with enthusiasm, but short on wisdom. When your maximum effort yields minimal results. Humbling to say the least. But learning how to put the start of any new endeavor into a larger context of cumulative success is a key skill for achieving great things over a long enough time line. And when it comes to success, time is what we tend to have a in excess, but little patience to utilize it appropriately. 

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Palumbo Vs. Burt's Bees: The Saga Continues. by Joseph Palumbo

For those of you who know me you know that I have an ongoing challenge of consuming a single tube of Burts bees from beginning to end. It seems silly because it is. But it's one of those things in your life, a personal challenge, that just makes things more interesting.

I was well on my way, close to using a full tube of Burts bees lip balm, I think I was at the halfway point. However, an unexpected dip in the Columbia River while I was trying to paddleboard with the Burts bees in my pocket unfortunately ended my streak.

It's one of life's many lessons. To be able to absorb tragedy and setbacks of any size and still have the gumption to keep going on. 


  Here my new tube of lip balm which I will carry with me and which will hydrate my lips on a regular basis. The challenge continues. 


Here my new tube of lip balm which I will carry with me and which will hydrate my lips on a regular basis. The challenge continues. 

Perspiration as Differentiation by Joseph Palumbo

Most of the time success in life comes down to how well you can market yourself. This form of marketing abides by the ABDs of marketing - Always Be Differentiating. How clearly can you communicate why you're different from the next candidate while planting the seeds why that might difference will lead to a benefit for a potential employer or their organization is a powerful strategy for opening doors and getting inside them? 

There are a number of ways to distinguish yourself from a group of applicants or other creative professionals, but probably the only way that will routinely win you new business or open the door to accolades, is the differentiation that comes from old fashioned perspiration. Perspiration is the best differentiation!

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It's really a sickness (can't sleep) by Joseph Palumbo

By now it's the 5th of July, but not that long ago I was sitting on my niece and nephew's front yard watching the sky light up with the customary fireworks celebrating our country's declaration of independence from the anglo oppressors on the other side of the Atlantic. Loud explosions and the smell of gunpowder are the hallmarks of this holiday. Since this year's 4th is so close to the landmark SCOTUS decision declaring that marriage is a right all American's should enjoy, I coined the phrase "Gaytriotism" to describe the patriotic pride for our country doing the right for so many citizens. 

But I guess being around all that barbecue, gunpowder and patriotism was a little too much for me, because now I can't sleep. And what's worse is that I tend to be very sensitive to disturbances in my sleep pattern. So for anybody who has to work with me this upcoming week, I apologize in advance. 

So, the sickness thing, I was referring to buying watches. I just bought an Omega Speedster Profession (Calibre 1861) not more than two weeks ago and I'm already hankering and scheming to buy the next one. Which one? Well, I still really want the Rolex Submariner, but I'm actually looking at the Rolex Explorer this time around. 

Rolex's statement on what a straightforward, functional time piece should look like. 

Rolex's statement on what a straightforward, functional time piece should look like. 

The stupid thing is that I keep buying watches that are under the $9K mark with the justification that they are less than the Rolex Submariner that I was originally going to purchase, but at this point I've spent significantly more than if I would have just bought the watch that I wanted. So now I'm back at it again, thinking about adding another watch to my collection, in part, because it is a "bargain" when compared to the watch I was going to get. And then I start thinking about trading one of the watches I currently have for the Rolex, but I'd hate to get rid of any of those watches. 

It's late, about 2:16AM, and I really need to get some sleep. 

Satori On Via - The Preface by Joseph Palumbo

People hate traveling...because people are bad at it. Yes, you can be a bad traveler, a bad lover and a bad customer. Traveling, much like loving and customering, is a skill and like any other skill. It can (and should) be practiced and perfected over a period of time. One of the easiest ways one can become a better traveler is to be a "tourist" in your own hometown, which in my case means forgoing the familiarity of my beloved Bavarian chariot ("Bavariot"?) and taking to my city's only* municipal transportation, Via

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